Amazon - I hate you so much for suggesting all these things to me. I understand you are a business and are trying to get me to buy things, but GOD DAMNIT you do not let up. You got me interested in at least three new series I want to read but I can't afford it and you make me sad for that. I also hate that you are going to be where most of my christmas presents are coming from this year, so, go DIAF (not the weekend I buy stuff but sometime after that, that'd be great.) But in all reality, I love you. Really ♥ I'm just poor and angry, that's all.

Disneyland - I love you as much as I hate you this year. It was hard with mom and Meg there, and we all cried at least once. But it was fond memories and I thank you for that. You were fun this year and I really can't wait to see you again next year, maybe even in your hotel! Fingers crossed, we all love vacations.

Halloween Horror Nights - I have never laughed so hard and you certainly made things so much more entertaining for the weekend. I absolutely ADORE you for going all out as you have and seeing people scream in terror at things people shouldn't be terrified at makes it all the more entertaining. Front of Line passes next year, that's for sure, but absolutely wonderful and worth the money.

RP - ...when it comes to comms right now, the ones I frequent can mostly die in a fire. So tired of crack and hearing that Sam Winchester turned into a girl. Again. For the sixth time this week. Really, come on, serious RP is *not* that hard once in awhile, and really, all this crack just gets so fucking tiring. On one level, I love Kripke for doing half the shit he does, another level, it fucks up the fandom so much...just god damnit all.

BUT, So you think you can dance? concert coming up next friday, and Dethklok concert the Tuesday afterwards. AND THEN LEFT 4 DEAD 2 THE DAY AFTER. Shit, I actually have a somewhat life this month, fucking crazy~! But, going to write some and try and keep my mine clear and content for the evening, I need the peace.

It's weird to be working in my own journal for once, since I haven't touched it in awhile. Damn role-playing for taking over so completely! Then again, I've also gotten just tied up in storylines for my evil!Sam Winchester and Yahweh's tied up with drama with Cat's Lucifer. It's just become a relaxing mechanism for me anymore. It's something to do, keeps me writing, thinking, and y'know? It's not too destructive of an outlet unlike what others in my family seem to have. It's something though. It could be worse. But I'm (mostly) happy. Content. Life goes on and all that bullshit.

Been reading Lucifer a lot recently. Got up to chapter 41 tonight, starting 42 tomorrow. After that, probably Fables will be the next to read. Or the new Cherie Priest novel if I can get my hands on that. I also realize now I have a ton of books on my sister's bed that I should probably be reading but I'm not. Bride of the Water God and Umbrella Academy are just going to have to wait for now. Le sigh. I need more time to read.

Have Tuesday off. Two years since dad died. I made a mistake of going back and rereading the entries before he died over. Ended up crying for a good hour and absolutely shaken the next day at work. Was not pleasant for anyone, really. My sister forgot about it the other night, had to tell her. That was very...both depressing and sad. I wish things were different.

In other news, keeping myself mainly distracted until tomorrow. Disneyland Halloween trip coming up, so excited for that. Maybe Fear Farm this weekend. Also got a Masquerade ball coming up on the 24th for work. Don't even have anything planned to wear for that so that's going to be a clusterfuck, I'm sure. Ah well. But doing that, watching horror movies, reading, writing...keeps me preoccupied from the other things invading my life right now.

BAH, it's almost seven. Going to bed before I keep rambling on.

Fuck you CLAMP.

Tsubasa started decently and you fucked it up by turning it into your own fanfiction with an ending that resolves little to nothing. After xxxHolic is over - which you better not fuck up either or I will be REALLY sad because that is so much better than Tsubasa - I will probably avoid picking up what you have from here on out. I don't know what it is, but you fucked up seriously with this series and I am just....GRRR. FUCK YOU GUYS I'M OUT.

Well then, been awhile since I've updated, and while I should probably catch up on some RP tags, I think it's time for a one on one with this livejournal. God, rereading that makes me sound so damned emo but shit, it's true. I just need to type out what's in my head so, well, shit, here goes.


( There is no reason for hope...how can you say that? )

But, in other news, completely color coordinated my desktop, it's actually damned sexy looking. It's got Sam from the recent Supernatural episode in his pjs, along with Dean in the background walking about sin and salvation. And that's all greys/blacks/reds. Got my MSN sporting a lovely blood red outlook there, my zune changes color with my windows blinds, which is a minimized icon type thing with red highlights on everything. And my firefox is all red and black. Yes, I seriously put a lot of effort into getting everything to match, it's really sort of sad. But now I got my dark and evil looking desktop, and brooding Sam there too. Mmm, I wish we would've gotten more shirtless Sam in that episode, but honestly, the interacting between Lucifer and Sam just made it so...mmmmm. I can't wait for more of this season. I can't tell yet if I want it to be over over or if I just want it to continue. We'll see as the apocalypse gets closer :P

I'm talking too much and it's now seven in the morning and I have work today. Sounds like a perfect time to sleep.

Dear Barnes and Noble,


There's a reason that I buy all my books from Amazon anymore. Where I'm looking to own all the Lucifer comic series (the spin-off of Sandman with, obviously, Lucifer after he abandoned Hell in LA with his bar) I'm trying to see how much the third trade paperback would be. Considering I have two out of the ten TPBs, might as well collect the rest, right? But you, oh you, you had to have the third one - brand-new - for almost $20. SERIOUSLY? TPBs usually run anywhere from $8-$15 at the MOST, and even when it's $15, it's usually a larger size or has some sort of special with it. But $20? Seriously? Come on. Amazon has it for TEN FUCKING BUCKS. You're killing me here. I mean, $10 gift cards are a joke to you - even those paperbacks that are $8 from you end up with a final price of $12. I can get this all ten times cheaper on amazon, since you have crappy options for even used items that can be bought, so guess where I'm going? You got it - NOT YOUR STORE.

Not a happy cheap customer,

Me ♥


As a minor note, it's not like I don't already have all of Lucifer magically on my computer. I just want to own it, kinda like I want to own all of the Sandman series. It's just one of those things...yeah. And I totally forgot that I bought the original series of Slayers along with Slayers Next at Dragoncon. SOUNDS LIKE I GOT SOME WATCHING TO DO THIS WEEKEND.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

SUPERNATURAL IS GOING TO BE AWESOME THIS SEASON Might contain slight spoilers - more hints that we were already thinking about really.

Also, when I get back, there's going to be a post about a Supernatural premiere party at my house. Everyone's invited!


Today has also been the weirdest day ever. Spent nine hours in the ER to get my toe operated on (as I explained it, ingrown toenail from hell) and I can now walk. However, I am now running on four hours of sleep while I'm at work. Better yet, can only wear sandals (which I usually hate wearing) and then they broke while here (thank god I had some glue at my desk!) Gets better, right now, the fiber to our work broke, so while we may STILL have internet, can't take any phone calls. Or if we do, completely intermittent and has a chance of dropping. It's the best and weirdest day fucking ever.

Vacation sooooooooooooooooooooooooon plz~

Dear Supernatural,


Please never stop being awesome. You have the best gifs probably out of anything I've ever seen and it makes this fandom so much fun (although still batshit insane, but that's okay, I can overlook that for a bunch of reaction gifs) and entertaining. Please don't change, even if this is your last season.


Love,


Me ♥




Also? Depeche Mode in a few hours WOO HOO!

beforethed4wn had this idea to post the soundtrack about yourself. So, I thought it'd be good because perhaps people will listen to this and maybe understand me a bit more, especially y'all that haven't met me in person. So, DEEP BREATH, here goes.

1) Dear Ophelia - Abney Park
2) Star Stealing Girl - Chrono Cross OST
3) Again - Yui
4) Hey Jude - The Beatles
5) While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles
6) God Knows... - Hirano Aya
7) Pale Blue Dot - The Receiving End of Sirens
8) I Don't Feel Like Dancing - Scissor Sisters
9) What do I have to do? - Stabbing Westward
10) Someday The Dream Will End - Final Fantasy X OST
11) Defying Gravity - Wicked OBR
12) Spring Night Love Song - Card Captor Sakura Movie 1 OST
13) ROMANCE - Buck-Tick
14) You're not alone! - Final Fantasy IX OST


...wow, that was a lot more depressing than I planned for it to be. Sounds like bedtime for me.

EDIT: If people want me to upload said music above or anything else that interests you, let me know here. I'm trying to keep up with LJ and it's lovely "YAY I DON'T LIKE SENDING COMMENT NOTIFICATIONS" recently, so if I'm slow to respond back to ANYTHING, I'm sorry, I'm retracing myself for the past few days.

Thanks LJ, for not sending me notifications. Really makes role-playing a bit more difficult if I don't know I got a reply in the first place. THANKS.


( Son of a... )

★ Jeans ($40?) Decided against it and going to try and find my levis
★ Shoes ($40?) - didn't have time
★ Bras (anywhere from $20-60) - Got three new awesome ones! ($80 or so)
★ Undies ($25) - Three awesome pairs that are ADORABLE ($21)
★ Socks? ($20) - didn't even bother looking

Books bought off Amazon and will start packing list later! Also,

★ Cas narrative Respond to this later with Castiel
★ Catch up on last of the tags
★ Work in Cassandra before you forget her like everyone else :( Figure out where you want to use her
★ Perhaps post for Ursula?
★ Post for Jess
★ Find PB for Vincent Searched for about an hour now - can't find anything that fits him right damnit. I'll try next weekend.

★ READ. You need to get through book six here if you plan to get them all read by D*Con, hope you realize! >( I know it sucks to go through them so fast, but honestly, it's a good series. And you have twenty other series that have to be read anyways. Like Hellboy? Finish that already and catch up on all your damned comics >:( Not cool. UPDATE: Got a hundred pages in to book six. If I can finish this shortly, I can have book seven done by the end of the week and eight and nine can be read in the two coming weeks after that. WOO /o/

And I'm going to go take a nap so I can get up in a few hours to go shopping x_x

Was about a month, wasn't it? Hit another onset of depression. Fuck man, I need to see someone about this. It's not good when it hits. And I have nothing to be depressed about. And yet here I am, just feeling...empty. Cold. Boring.

Just...god damn it all.

Things to do:

★ Sammy's journal
★ Posts for Alex wandering - perhaps Cas narrative?
★ SYTYCD music list - post here?
★ Do something productive - True Blood / SPN crossover??
★ Sigh :(



Also world -

I understand you're going to do slash of everything and anything you can. But I hope you know that Jared/Jensen/Misha/whomever are just catering to the fans and fucking with you guys. I highly doubt that any of them screw one another and it's getting on my nerves that I cannot go through a damned community without seeing at least half the posts on the page of "ZOMG J2 ICONS" ...seriously. STFU and leave them alone.

God I hope ya'll never catch on to True Blood. I'll have to kill all of you. >:(

I don't do this often so meme time yay! /o/

( Shine, bright morning light... )


Also, random - yay for being caught up in all my communities tag-wise! Now I just need intros for two characters this week which will be hell to write later on with my work being douche-y. Sigh. Two more days...

TO THE PERSON LEAVING ME ANON COMMENTS ON MY HMD? POSTS FOR MY CHARACTER JOURNALS:


Those HMD posts are for criticism on my CHARACTER. Not on the journal name itself and saying that I can't spell because of it. If I would have spelled it out that way, it would have been too long by livejournal's username terms so honestly, fuck off.

Dreaming about dad a lot. Glad I took off his birthday. I have a feeling I'm not going to last this year.